Random O'Clock 1: Human Realm Road Signs

Prompt: Demon Brothers are part of a TV game show, and each week they have to face a new challenge. Today’s show is hosted by Thirteen and Solomon.

A/N: This is what my mind comes up with when I can’t sleep.

“Hello, everyone! Welcome to Random O’Clock. A TV show sponsored by the prince of Devildom because he wants to make the demon brothers suffer. This is your cute host, Thirteen!” She beamed, “In today’s show, the brothers will guess Human Realm road signs.”

She paused and looked at the colorful card in her hand with furrowed brows, “Road signs? You couldn’t come up with a better topic than this?”

“You are still on air, Thirteen,” Solomon whispered. “Not the right time to open state your opinions…”

She cleared her throat and looked at the camera, but not before glaring at the sorcerer, “Our guest today is…the stupid, inconsiderate, most irritating waste of a life, Solomon.”

“Thank you, Thirteen, for the kind introduction. So, brothers, are you ready to play the game?”

The seven demons stared at him in silence without any expressions. Solomon awkwardly laughed, “Right. So let’s get started. Can we have the first sign on the monitor?”

 
Mammon: “Beware. Kidnappers ahead!”

Everyone looked at him either in confusion or with a blank face.

Mammon: “What? The man is walkin’ behind the woman and touchin’ her back. We dunno if she knows him.”
 
Asmo: “Maybe she does. Maybe she is having a rough day, and he is rubbing her back to help her relax.”

Solomon chuckled, “Seems like they forgot these are road signs?”

Belphie: “Beware. Couples ahead.”
 
Levi: “Why are their heads floating? Where did their neck go?”
 
Beel: “The sign is shaped like a dumpling.”
 
Satan: “People walking ahead?”
 
Lucifer: “A crosswalk for humans ahead.”
 
Satan: “Don’t copy my idea.”
 
Lucifer: “I am not.”

“Now. Now. No fighting! Both Satan and Lucifer are correct. Next sign, please,” the sorcerer exclaimed.

“He says as he clearly enjoys watching them argue,” Thirteen huffed.

 
Asmo: “Oh! Tiny waistline ahead!”
 
Mammon: “Beel, didja take a chomp out the road?”
 
Levi: “Looks like it. Warning hungry Beel ahead.”
 
Beel: “Looks like a dumbbell.”
 
Satan: “Doctors performing surgery ahead?”
 
Belphie: “Surgery?”
 
Satan: “It appears to be a torso with a dissection line in the center.”

Solomon glanced at the camera and whispered, “Seems like they forgot we are talking about roads. But I must say, they are quite imaginative.”

Lucifer exhaled loudly and shook his head, “Narrow road ahead.”

“You are no fun, Lucifer,” Thirteen playfully frowned.

“Correct. Next sign, please.”

 
Asmo: “Oh no. His head is on fire! Someone pour water on his poor head.”
 
Mammon: “Who’s dumb enough to set their head on fire?”
 
Belphie: “You?”
 
Mammon: “I ain’t that dumb!”
 
Beel: “Mammon. Belphie. Don’t fight…”
 
Levi: “I have a guess. Super Saiyans ahead.”
 
Satan: “Hades ahead.”
 
Lucifer: “Flammable objects present.”
 

“Lucifer! Stop guessing,” the grim reaper puffed her cheeks. “You are ruining the fun.”

Solomon took the mic from her hand and smiled at the camera, “Seems like our grim reaper friend needs a little break. I will take over for a while.”

“I don’t need a break! Gimme back my mic!”

“Next sign, please,” he chuckled, purposely holding her microphone as high as he could. While Thirteen jumped up and down, trying to get her mic back, the next sign displayed on the screen.

 
Mammon: “Someone was drunk while drawin’ the sign.”
 
Asmo: “Party ahead?”
 
Levi: “Tentacles ahead?”
 
Satan: “Choose your adventure?”
 
Belphie: “This sign is making me dizzy…”
 
Beel: “Looks like noodles…”
 
Lucifer: “Road signs. We are guessing road… never mind. Solomon, how many more?” “Why so impatient? Your brothers are enjoying themselves,” he laughed. “If you must know, we have one more sign remaining.” Thirteen ran out from backstage with another mic and pointed toward the sorcerer, “Ha! I got another microphone. Bring up the final sign!”

Mammon’s jaw dropped.

Belphie suddenly felt wide awake.

Satan and Levi averted their eyes while blushing.

Beel and Asmo uncomfortably shifted in their chairs.

Lucifer slammed his hands on the table and stood up, “Alright. That is enough! This show ends here.”

Thirteen gritted her teeth at Solomon, “You! You did this on purpose!”

“I have no clue what you are talking about. Well, everyone. Thank you for tuning in. We will be back next week with a different challenge and different hosts. Hope to see you then!”

“You despicable human! Get back here!”

The last thing the viewers saw before the lights on the set faded away was Thirteen chasing Solomon with her scythe in hand.

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