Contortionist MC

The House of Lamentation was unusually quiet for a Saturday afternoon until Lucifer’s voice echoed through the halls.

“Y/n, are you sure you’re… supposed to bend like that?”

The brothers had gathered in the common room, initially to relax, but the conversation shifted when you casually mentioned that you used to practice contortion as a hobby. The brothers absolutely had to see a demonstration.

Now, you were balancing on your hands, one leg gracefully arched over your head while the other extended forward. You shifted smoothly into a backbend, spine arching in an impossible crescent as if you were made of rubber, not bone.

Lucifer stood with his arms crossed, brows furrowed. “I’m fairly certain that human spines are not meant to do that.”

His voice was calm, but a flicker of concern was visible in his eyes. Meanwhile, Mammon had his mouth open, eyes wide. “WH-WHAT THE HELL, Y/N? YA LOOK LIKE YA JUST GOT POSSESSED OR SOMETHIN’. Humans can’t do that! Can they?”

Levi clutched his Ruri-chan pillow tightly, his face flushed. “T-this is like that one rare episode of…! The main character’s secret move was extreme flexibility, but even that wasn’t this crazy! Y/n, are you part snake? Or an octopus? No, no, I take that back, it’s kind of… amazing.”

Asmo squealed, clasping his hands together with stars in his eyes. His mind was already racing through glamorous outfit ideas to pair with your unique ability. “Oh my goodness, y/n, you’re divine! So graceful! So flexible! The things we could do in photoshoots… oh, imagine the aesthetic possibilities!”

Beel was holding a plate stacked with sandwiches and paused mid-bite. “Are you sure you’re not hurting yourself? That doesn’t look safe.”

Belphie blinked slowly from his spot on the couch, head resting on a pillow. He yawned. “Huh… weird. But kinda cool, I guess. You’re like one of those bendy toys. I didn’t think humans were built like that… must be exhausting though.”

Satan, who had been observing intently with his usual scholarly interest, tilted his head. He was impressed. “Fascinating. The human spine has thirty-three vertebrae, yet you’re moving as if you have none. Your muscle control and flexibility exceed the standard biological limits by a shocking margin. Did you train for years to achieve this? Or are you naturally gifted?”

You chuckled as you slowly twisted into a pretzel-like knot. “A little of both. Lots of training, but I’ve always been pretty flexible.”

Mammon continued pacing back and forth. “I-I mean, that’s great and all, but what if ya snap somethin’? What if ya break your spine, and I’m stuck explainin’ to Lucifer why his precious human is in a full body cast?”

“You make it sound like I’m made of glass,” you laughed, now flipping over into a handstand with effortless grace.

Asmo clapped again. “Sweetie, you might just inspire me to take up yoga! But I doubt I’d ever be able to bend like that.”

Satan scribbled notes in a little leather notebook, muttering to himself, “Perhaps I should study more about contortionist techniques. This could make an excellent research topic.”

Levi was still flustered. “You… you’re kinda like a real-life anime character.”

Lucifer sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Just promise me you won’t practice these… stunts… unsupervised in the middle of the hallway, where Mammon is likely to have a heart attack and drag me into unnecessary panic.”

You grinned while lowering yourself into a full middle split. “Deal.”

Belphie yawned again. “Wake me up if they start spinning their head like in those horror movies.”

The brothers simultaneously glared at him while you burst into laughter, still folded in half like it was nothing.