Levi: “MC, look, there’s a new event in-”
Woman: “Excuse me?”
Levi: “Huh?” (looks up, turns red, and drops her hand like it’s radioactive)
Levi: “ERROR. SYSTEM FAILURE.”
MC: “Levi, breathe.”
Woman: “Is he okay?”
Levi: “NO!!! I JUST HELD HANDS WITH A NORMIE!!”
MC: “You’re washing that hand the moment we get home.”
Levi: “We’re going home NOW!”

Woman: “Um…?”
Satan: “Yes, MC?”
Woman: “I’m not MC.”
Satan: “…”
Satan: “I want to die.”
MC: (laughs) “It’s okay, it happens.”
Woman: “Your hand is so soft.”
Satan: (turns to MC) “Control your species.”
MC: “My species? You’re the one who needs to control!”

Asmo: “MC, sweetie, look at this filter-”
Woman: “Oh! Well, hello, cutie.”
Asmo: (looks up and freezes but smiles politely) “Oh dear. You’re not MC.”
Woman: “I don’t mind. Can I get your numb-”
MC:  “No!”
Asmo: “Oh, please, sweetie, flattery is lovely, but I only hold hands with people who have my heart.”
Woman: “So…MC, then?”
Asmo: (grabs your hand) “Of course, MC! Look at this face. Look at this little pout. I could never mistake them for anyone!”
MC: “You literally just did.”
Asmo: “I WAS DISTRACTED BY MY OWN BEAUTY; IT’S A VALID EXCUSE!”
Woman: “Are you two…dating?”
MC: “It’s…complicated.”
Asmo: “No, it isn’t! They are mine – emotionally, spiritually, and aesthetically.”
MC: “Aesthetically??”
Asmo: “Sweetie, your aura matches my skincare routine. We’re fated.”
Woman: “I don’t know what that meant, but I’m jealous.”
Asmo: “Understandable. I am stunning, after all.”

Beel: (takes her hand gently) “MC, do you wanna split a-”
Woman: “Hi?”
Beel: “Oh. You’re not MC.”
Woman: “No, but I can split food with you.”
MC: “Step. Away. From. My. Man.”
Beel: (quickly returns to your side) “Sorry. I thought you smelled like them.”
MC: “Is that supposed to be romantic?”
Beel: “Yes.”

Thirteen: “MC, I found a trap online that you’re gonna-”
Woman: “Can I help you?”
Thirteen: (looks up) “Oh WHOA. You’re not MC.”
Woman: “I mean, I could be.”
Thirteen: “Girl, trust me, you don’t want that smoke.”
MC: “What is that supposed to mean?”
Thirteen: “You know exactly what that means.”
Woman: (to you) “Is she your girlfriend?”
Thirteen: “They’re my favorite victim.”
Woman: “What?? MC, blink twice if you need help.”
Thirteen: “Relax, I mean it romantically.”
MC: “HOW IS THAT ROMANTIC??”
Thirteen: “Because you survived all my traps. That has to mean something.”
Woman: “I’m gonna go now.”
Thirteen: (links arms with you) “See? Even fate knows you’re stuck with me.”